Notebook 24 Pg 30

The Notes

• The tudors ate porpoise
• Spit Boy, Groom of the stool
• Actors had their ears cut off
• Woad stank
• Wargasm
• CIA to promote Kenny Rogers
• Biography of Eminem in Farsi
• Crepuscular decisions

The Commentary

The Tudors ate porpoise
It would probably be easier to list the things the Tudors didn't eat. Reminds me of the ad campaign for the Howard Stern radio show in which he is quoted as saying 'I'm all for animal welfare but if I'm hungry I'll eat a panda sandwich.' 

Spit Boy, Groom of the stool
The spit-boy was the lowest job in medieval kitchens  and this young lads entire job was to turn the spit. The Groom of the Stool on the other hand was a much coveted position in the English court as it gave the holder access to the Monarch's ear alone and in private. The downside to this was that privacy and intimacy came at the cost of your job being to literally wipe the royal arse.


Actors had their ears cut off
Glance at your fame gorged media and ask was this such a bad thing? 

Woad stank
Apparently it really did hum to high heaven which may explain its current rarity.

Wargasm
Thing that the big boys on either side of most conflicts seem to get off on. In order to achieve wargasm you need lots of men in uniform and an array of instrument capable of very deep penetration.

CIA to promote Kenny Rogers
Do you reckon this is promote as in accelerate his rank? I don't think he was in the CIA was he? Or does this mean promote as in 'endorse and enthuse his work?'  Inw hich case if I was the sable bearded one I don't think I would welcome or need any form of backing from the CIA to help shift my particular brand of calorie free country music, especially abroad.
I did think about trying to work in an 'illegal rendition' quip but decided against it 

Biography of Enemen in Farsi
I'm guessing this is probably available given Marshal's world wide acclaim. Why I wrote it down will probably have to remain a mystery. Perhaps I heard Coward of the County on the radio which activated my sleeper cell code sending me out to buy a copy of a book I can neither read nor have any interest in.

Crepuscular decisions
I like crepuscular as its a fancy term for dusk. I may have coined this phrase as referring to those ideas and notions that seem like a really good idea just as you fall asleep but which turn out the next day to have more holes than a Jarlsberg Aero.